I’m Not a Cookie -Cutter Christian

 Not a Cookie-Cutter Christian 

Cookie cutter Christianity was never for me. 

Yes, I was pressed in the mold and held in. 

I was given the exact things to say and wear. 

I was given the exact template of my life. 

I was shown exactly God’s will by those around me.

Then I was tried in fire. Trying to cement my place in this mold. 

Good girl - they would say. 

God loves it when you are silent and obey.

Good girl- keep sweet.

God loves it when you shrink yourself to only be what we say you should be. 

But I’m not a cookie cutter Christian.  Never have been.

From my earliest memory, I remember questioning everything I went along with. Then battling the unending guilt because I challenged what I was taught. 

I broke out of the mold many years ago, but I kept the shape.  That shape held me bound for many year, even though inside I was working desperately to break out. 

Piece by piece the shape started to crumble.

Til one day a part of me broke loose. I could feel that part of myself come alive in ways I never knew possible.  I began to love others and see others in ways I never knew possible. 

So I ran- hard as I could and threw myself against everything to break more of the pieces off. 

Bruised and bloody I emerged no longer in that molded shape, but fully into who I am.  

As time passes I see more and more things come out of me that God created me to be. I see paths I can take that were always closed to me. I meet and love people who I never would have talked to then.

I have come alive and live life now as it should be lived- full of love and happiness.  

Doesn’t mean I don’t have dark days still…. But now the dark days don’t bind me as they so easily used to.  

I’m not a cookie cutter Christian. Never have been. Never will try to be again.  

Amber Schultz 

2023