God Pulled Me Out

 God pulled me out of a pit,

But it wasn’t dirty and murky. 

It was clean and pretty

With stained glass windows

And shiny, happy people.

Carpets and seats to match,

Solid wood pulpit and steps.

Potlucks and revivals,

The commandments from the “Bible”.

God pulled me out of a pit,

But there were no darkness there.

Not the kind I was told about anyway. 

The darkness I saw was in people

Wearing pressed suits and Sunday dresses.

Plastic smiles on their faces to hide the 

Pain in their eyes. 

The discontented souls wandering around

Singing “Jesus Loves me this I know.  “

God pulled me out of a pit,

But it wasn’t alcohol or drugs that held me.

It was the binding of legalism and rules;

The Thou shalt nots shouted from the stage.

The dresses I wore were supposed to protect  me,

Instead they bound me in shame. 

They didn’t protect me from hands or eyes

Wanting to see what was underneath. 

God pulled me out of a pit,

But it wasn’t what the church told me was.

As I was slowly being lifted, the hands of all

Those left behind grabbed at my naked soul.

Pulling me hard back into the mire I knew, 

Back into their control. 

But God pulled me out of the pit. 

He knew how slowly I needed to go.

Over time more bindings and chains

Began to fall away.

With every new freedom I was able to finally see

What was on the outside. 

God pulled me out of the pit, 

He did it through me- giving me 

The strength to go on when I could

Not move forward another step.

God made the way, but I made the choice

Every single day to fight against everything

I’ve ever known, to end it for my family with me. 

Now that I am out of the pit,

My wounds sting from the breeze of freedom. 

I want to run far away from it, knowing 

The darkness and evil I left. 

But when I look back, I see other people.

People like me who are so trapped 

Trying to get out. 

So no I stand, reaching a hand into the pit;

Hoping that my hand can be someone’s lifeline.

You do not have to stay in there. 

You do not have to do this alone. 

My hand is reaching back in the pit for you. 

-Amber Schultz

2023