Why Now?

Deconstruction.

A term coined in the last few years on social media, and it means to reevaluate and shed former beliefs. I have been deconstruction for fifteen years. Really, I would say my whole life I didn’t agree with a lot of things I was taught, but it wasn’t until my twenties that I made the move to start changing. 

It was ever so slow.

It is still every evolving.

Why now? After thirty-five years in church, why start talking about this now? 

Because, there is a great need to understand that there are SO MANY people walking away from their faith. Spiritual abuse is rampant among churches. Abuse is hidden and ignored, families are made to stay in dangerous situation, and all for the sake of  “abstaining from the APPEARANCE of evil”

Because if churches acknowledge their issues, then the veneer they have placed on themselves would fall apart. They would be like everyone else; and this cannot happen. They can’t be seen to look like the world in anyway, so any sin or abuse that comes to light it is buried. 

Not anymore.

Everyday someone comes forward to talk about their story.

Everyday someone starts deconstruction.

These people are gaslit by they church, or are being called part of the “great falling away” before Christ’s return. I beg to differ. These brave souls are daring to do what not many dare to do; go against the status quo.

The road of deconstruction is not easy. We lose family, friends, our community, our sense of self, and so many other things as we start the journey seeing the Truth.

Because of the reaction to their seeking/asking question; many people find themselves leaving their Faith all together. I can understand why. The God we have been taught is not the God of the Bible. The God we were taught is angry, abusive, allows abuse, and stands for the narcissist people that are in leadership. 

I watched my dad daily read his bible; never missing a morning. After his reading, his day would be filled with gaslighting, abuse, stealing, conning, anger, manipulation and all of it was justified by scripture. 

Scripture can be so easily twisted to fit the agenda of those in power, and if questioned they shut us down.

THIS IS WHY WE LEAVE.

We are to a place we don’t know what to believe or trust because it has all been used as a tool to oppress and control people. 

I am starting my YouTube Platform in January, and each week I will highlight something different with coming out of the fundamentalist faith.  I will share stories of survivors, tell my own story, react to crazy pastor clips or memes, and talk about different topics that are important to me. 

To me it is important to see deconstruction and all of these stories/topics from the lenses of someone who has deconstructed but still in the faith. 

So why now? Because it is needed more than every for people to see they aren’t alone in their journey. 

Losing friends, family, and community because of a decision is so heartbreaking. The more we spread awareness of the abuse, the twisting of scripture, the losses, and the stories of people deconstructing; the more people will see that they have a community of people who understand where they are and where they end up. 

Every person has a story. Every person is important. 

So this is why I speak out now.